Sunday, May 13, 2012

Sunday nights

Growing up I would always have a hard time falling asleep on Sunday nights, I guess I would get anxious about the week ahead.  I would usually end up coming back downstairs and hanging out with my dad for awhile on Sunday nights, even throughout high school.  I am a planner which is the nice way of saying I know how to worry, and I'm good at it.  I would lay in bed on Sunday nights and think of all the things I have to do that week or the tests or the homework I didn't finish. 

Working, and especially opening shifts, brought back my sleepless Sunday nights.  Especially once I became a shift manager.  I would lay in bed and think about where I would position everyone in the morning, all the things I had to get done, then I would think if I fall asleep now I'll get 4 hours of sleep, etc.  There were many Sunday nights in the past few months where I only got an hour or so of sleep and felt it for the rest of the week.  I have countless pictures on my phone of scratches of paper like this where I have written down how I will run the shift that day. 

Today was my last shift at Starbucks and so for the first time in a long time Sunday night doesn't mean an early bed time filled with planning and anxiety.  Like I said I know how to worry and I'm good at it, I'm working on learning to fully and completely rely on God especially during this new journey.  It's incredible to see how He's working out the little details for us--like finding out yesterday that our health insurance is approved!  I'm thankful for this new journey and new season in life--one with more sleep and learning to fully trust God.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on His hands,

My name is written on His heart;
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

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